Lori Reed | Parenting

Equality: A Child’s View

Today I asked my seven-year-old son if he knew why there was no school today. He said it was to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.’s life. I asked him what Dr. King did that was so special. He answered, “He fought for our freedom.” I questioned a little further, “Whose freedom did he fight for?” My son answered, “Everyone’s.” I pressed a little more and reminded him that Dr. King fought for the rights of a group of Americans who were not treated fairly. Without missing a beat my son said, “Mom why would he fight for the freedom of one group of Americans but not for the freedom of all Americans. That’s just crazy.”

In that moment I realized that I have been blessed with a child who is wise beyond his years and will always challenge me to think deeper. I also realized that given what I know of Dr. King, my son is right. While we can listen to and read the famous words “I have a dream” it’s not hard to imagine any group of people for whom those words do not ring true. Whether you are white, black, or any shade in between. Whether you are gay, straight, or somewhere in between. We all want and deserve equal rights.

I feel blessed to be a parent at this time when I can watch my children grow up and describe friends not as black or white but as “the boy with light or dark brown skin.” In their classes of preschool and second grade there is every color of skin imaginable. The children in these classes don’t notice the differences of color or hair texture. They notice the similarities of mind and heart. Seeing this gives me hope for our future. One day these children who have grown up with no concept of race or discrimination will be our leaders. This isn’t to say that kids today aren’t educated about the history of the civil rights movement. They are, they just understand it in a different way.

Several weeks ago after hearing my son describe something as “gay,” we had a long talk about what it means to be gay and why it’s not acceptable to use that word in a derogatory way. I ended the discussion with telling him that no matter who he likes, girls or boys, we will always love him. He looked at me puzzled and said, “Mom I just like everyone. Is there a name for that?” I smiled to myself and thought, there is a name for that and it is hope.

Working When Your Kids are Sick

When you are in a family with two working parents it is so hard to have a sick child. For those of you who have yet to experience parenthood or daycare let me fill you in. There are stringent state regulations on when your child cannot attend childcare. Then generally your child has to be well for at least 24 hours before going back. So not only are you stuck home with a sick child, but you are stuck home an extra day after your child is well. Then, just to rub a little salt on the wound, a few days later you usually catch whatever your child had. My first child caught every virus that went around during the first two years of his life. Right before his second birthday he contracted salmonella and was quarantined for three months! Those first two years were hell! But children have to go through this at some point to build up their immune systems. If not when they’re babies it will be in kindergarten.

Now my son is almost four and he has the immune system of an elephant. He rarely ever gets sick.My daughter has done fairly well so far. She’s been in daycare for three months and today was only the second time she’s been sick.

As a trainer it is especially hard when you have a sick child. Classes have been scheduled months in advance. Facilities have been reserved. Other people’s lives have been arranged around your class schedule. Canceling a class at the last minute is a last resort.

Here are some options for dealing with family illnesses when you are a working parent:

Check in your area for special childcare centers that accept sick children. It’s expensive, but there are times when it’s worth it.
Create a support network of family and friends who might be able to help out in a pinch.
Find another coworker in your library who has children and arrange a system for emergency swaps. Since our library system is open 7 days a week I have friends who have days off during the week that I could call on for help.
Join or create a network with other parents. The Mommies Network has chapters across the US. It’s an online support group for moms. Members from my local group Charlotte Mommies have helped me with everything from fixing a broken toilet to bringing my family meals after Cameron was born.
If it’s the height of cold and flu season and your baby is prone to being sick, plan ahead and have a back up trainer lined up.
Be a detail-oriented planner. My husband is also a trainer, so when possible we try not to both teach at the same time. That way usually one of us has an easier schedule to clear.

Today I was scheduled to attend training. Since it was online there was no problem. I signed in from home and Cam and I enjoyed the session together. Yet another reason to love online training!